That It May Be Well: God’s Design for Family Harmony
In a world where everyone has opinions about parenting, politics, and social issues, it’s refreshing to know that God’s Word provides clear instructions for family life. When new parents feel overwhelmed, wondering if their child came with a manual, the truth is – yes, they did. That manual is found in Scripture.
What Does the Bible Say About Children and Parents?
The Bible uses a powerful metaphor in Psalm 127, comparing children to arrows in the hands of an archer. Just as an archer doesn’t simply grab a branch and shoot it, but carefully shapes, straightens, sharpens, and balances the wood before releasing it, parents are called to shape their children before sending them into the world.
This divine design for family is beautifully outlined in Ephesians 6:1-4, where Paul provides specific instructions for both children and parents.
Why Does God’s Plan for Marriage Matter?
The success of marriages directly impacts every level of society. As the saying goes: “So goes the home, so goes the church, so goes the state, so goes the nation, so goes the world.” When families thrive according to God’s design, entire communities benefit.
God’s plan for marriage isn’t based on cultural preferences or temporary social trends. It dates back to creation itself. When God created Adam and Eve, He established the pattern: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
God’s Instructions to Children: Obey Your Parents
Why Should Children Obey Their Parents?
Paul’s command is straightforward: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” The word “obey” comes from the Greek word that gives us “acoustics” – it means to hear and respond. This isn’t directed at infants, but at children old enough to understand and respond to instruction.
What Makes Obedience Right?
Children should obey their parents for three compelling reasons:
Because It’s Right: Obedience to parents is the natural order God established. It’s proper, just, and the way things are supposed to work. The stability of homes, culture, and nations depends on this order.
Because God Commanded It: Paul references the Fifth Commandment – “Honor your father and mother.” This made God’s top ten list of commandments, showing its importance. It’s not a suggestion but a divine command.
Because God Gave a Promise: This is the first commandment that comes with a promise – “that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”
What Does This Promise Mean?
God’s promise has two parts: quality and quantity. “That it may be well” speaks to the quality of life, while “that you may live long” addresses the quantity of life. Originally given to Israel regarding their dwelling in the Promised Land, this principle extends to the blessing that comes from following God’s design for family relationships.
God’s Instructions to Parents: Lead with Love and Discipline
What Should Fathers Avoid?
Paul specifically addresses fathers: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.” While mothers are implied in this instruction, Paul emphasizes the father’s role as spiritual leader of the home. Too often, discipline and instruction are relegated to mothers, but fathers must take responsibility for their children’s spiritual development.
This doesn’t mean giving in to every tantrum or avoiding necessary correction. Rather, fathers should lead by example through their words, consistency, tone, and spiritual leadership.
How Should Parents Raise Their Children?
The positive command is to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The phrase “bring them up” is the same word translated as “nourish” elsewhere – parents are to provide everything children need for healthy spiritual growth.
Discipline: This means correction, direction, and refocus. Biblical discipline is always directional and intentional, aimed at training children in righteousness. As Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Instruction: This refers to teaching and reasoned persuasion from God’s Word. Children need to understand not just “because I said so,” but because God has something to say about how families should operate.
Why Does God Care About Family Order?
What’s God’s Bigger Plan?
Psalm 78 reveals God’s generational design. He established His testimony and appointed His law so that fathers would teach their children, who would teach their children, creating an unbroken chain of faith. This ensures that each generation would “put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.”
How Does This Affect Society?
Wellness in our country begins with wellness in the home. When families follow God’s design, it creates stability that extends beyond individual households to entire communities and nations. Conversely, when children are disobedient to parents, it signals a society moving in the wrong direction.
What About Jesus’ Example?
Even Jesus, the Son of God, demonstrated this principle. Luke 2 tells us that Jesus was in submission to His parents. If the perfect Son of God honored His earthly parents, how much more should we follow this example?
Life Application
Whether you’re a child, parent, or grandparent, God’s design for family affects you. This week, commit to following God’s instructions for your role in the family. If you’re a child (regardless of age), honor your parents. If you’re a parent, take responsibility for the spiritual instruction of your children through both discipline and teaching from God’s Word.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Am I honoring my parents in a way that pleases God?
- As a parent, am I providing spiritual nourishment for my children, or am I leaving their spiritual development to others?
- How can I better align my family relationships with God’s design?
- What generational legacy of faith am I creating or continuing?
Remember, God’s ways are best – for you, your family, and your community. When we follow His design for family relationships, He promises that “it may be well” with us.
