Forgiveness: A Personal Letter, A Powerful Plea

The book of Philemon may be the shortest letter in the Bible, but it contains one of the most powerful messages about forgiveness and reconciliation. This one-page wonder tells the story of three individuals – Paul, a prisoner; Onesimus, a runaway slave; and Philemon, the slave owner who was wronged.

What Is the Story of Philemon About?

Imagine this scenario: The person who has offended you most in life is standing on your doorstep with a letter from the person you admire most in the world. That admired person is asking you to forgive the one who hurt you deeply. That’s essentially the story of Philemon. Paul, writing from prison around 61 AD, had met a runaway slave named Onesimus. During their time together, Paul led Onesimus to faith in Christ. While Onesimus’s eternal relationship with God was now secure, his earthly relationship with his master Philemon remained broken. Onesimus had not only run away from Philemon (a crime punishable by death), but he had also apparently stolen something valuable from him. Now, with Paul’s encouragement, Onesimus was returning to face Philemon – carrying a letter from Paul asking for forgiveness and reconciliation.

What Did Paul Ask of Philemon?

Paul’s request to Philemon had three main parts:

1. Receive Onesimus back – “If you regard me as a partner, receive him as you would receive me” (v.17). Paul asked Philemon to welcome Onesimus the same way he would welcome Paul himself.
2. Reconcile with him – Paul wanted their relationship to be transformed: “No longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother” (v.16). This was revolutionary in a culture where slaves were considered property.
3. Remit his debt – “If he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account” (v.18). Paul offered to personally pay whatever Onesimus owed.

Why Should We Forgive Others?

Paul provides several compelling reasons why Philemon should forgive Onesimus. These same reasons apply to us today:

1. Because of what’s at stake. Paul addressed his letter not just to Philemon but to his wife, son, and the entire church that met in their home. The implication was clear: Philemon’s response would be witnessed by many. His decision would impact his testimony and witness to others. When we identify ourselves as believers but respond to offenses like those who don’t know Christ, we damage our witness. Our forgiveness (or lack thereof) speaks volumes about our faith.
2. Because it’s the right thing to do. Paul could have commanded Philemon to forgive as an apostle, but instead appealed to him to do “what is proper” (v.8). Forgiveness is simply the right thing to do. Jesus even tied our forgiveness of others to our own experience of forgiveness: “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6). Not that we earn salvation by forgiving, but that those who have truly experienced God’s forgiveness will naturally extend forgiveness to others.
3. Because we trust God is doing something in our circumstances. Paul suggests an interesting perspective in verse 15: “Perhaps it was for this reason he was separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever.” Sometimes we need to forgive because we trust that God may be using difficult circumstances for a greater purpose. Even when we don’t understand why something painful happened, we can trust that God may be working through it.
4. Because we’ve been forgiven. The most powerful reason to forgive is that we ourselves have been forgiven. As Paul wrote to the Colossians (the same church where Philemon lived): “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

What Does True Forgiveness Look Like?

True forgiveness involves:

• Releasing someone from responsibility for your hurt
• Refusing to retaliate
• Refusing to bring up past offenses in future conflicts

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending you weren’t hurt. It acknowledges the wrong but chooses to release the debt. As James Dobson puts it, “Forgiveness is giving up my right to revenge.”

What Does God’s Justice Look Like?

God’s judgment against Edom was comprehensive. He promised to:

• Search out all their hidden treasures (v.6)
• Turn their allies against them (v.7)
• Eliminate their wisdom and understanding (v.8)
• Fill their warriors with terror (v.9)
• Make them “as if they never existed” (v.16)

The divine indictment was clear: “Just as you have done, it will be done to you. Your dealings will return on your own head” (v.15).

The Weight of Unforgiveness

Jesus told a powerful parable in Matthew 18 about a servant who was forgiven an enormous debt (equivalent to millions of dollars) but then refused to forgive a fellow servant who owed him just a few dollars. The master’s response was severe: “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” The contrast is stark. The debt we owed God was unpayable – like owing millions while earning pennies a day. It would take thousands of lifetimes to repay. Yet God forgave us completely through Christ. How then can we refuse to forgive the relatively small debts others owe us?

Life Application

The book of Philemon ends without telling us how Philemon responded. This isn’t an oversight – it’s an invitation for us to write our own ending through our response to those who have wronged us. This week, consider:

1. Who is the “Onesimus” in your life – someone who has hurt you and needs your forgiveness?
2. How might your decision to forgive or withhold forgiveness impact your witness to others?
3. What “debt” are you holding against someone that you need to release, remembering the enormous debt Christ has forgiven you?
4. Is there a broken relationship in your life that needs reconciliation? What step could you take this week toward healing?

Remember, we don’t forgive because it’s easy or because the other person deserves it. We forgive because we’ve been forgiven an unpayable debt through Christ. In light of that grace, can you really remain unforgiving toward others?